I’ve been thinking about my Computer Science major a lot lately. I’ve always been a very logical thinker, good with numbers, and think science is awesome. But I realized that there are so many things in life, meaningful things, that do not work like a computer does - black and white, binary, if/else. And I don’t think I want to pursue a life that makes me think that way. I think, for me personally, that thought process has been detrimental to me and made me unhappy. That’s why I love music so much. Music is so human. Without music I would be nothing, and without music to help me through my lowest times in my life I probably wouldn’t be here. I believe that pursuing music as a career is what I want. I’ve believed that for a long time but I really need to try now.
"1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you."
A self care list. I’ve been working on this. I promise it’s worth it.
I need to do these.
10-30-2008, 10:04 AM"I think when people feel bad they often lose touch with reality, and they think they’re unique in a bad way. So then they hear these songs, and it’s like when you get upset and you talk to your friends so that someone can go ‘this happened to me, too.’"
i wish i had friends i could just call up at like 2am and be like “lets chill or go for a walk” and they would do it
Thought I was gonna be hanging out with my friend who I never see because he’s and a frat and what do you know, he canceled on me because of his frat.
what a day.
Steal his look: vintage Ezra Koenig
Ralph Lauren casual men’s green t shirt: $370.76
Gucci white bread: $93.27
Prada extra large 100% beef hot dogs: $153.45
"I liked the idea of a self-contained, endless pursuit of perfection. But I have a problem with perfection. I don’t think perfection is very artful. But there’s something I liked about the image of a skater going in this endless twisted circle that doesn’t have any real endpoint. So the object is not to stop or arrive anywhere; it’s just to make this thing as beautiful as they can."
Elliott Smith (via jubilee-tea)